New Year Wishes
by kittymchale
Summary: What was Quinn longing for? What could fill the endless loneliness that ached in her chest? What she missing?   Faberry, One-shot, Quinn POV


**Hello, everyone! This is my very first Faberry fic, so if you could just click the review button and tell me what you think...please? I ache to know haha**

QUINN POV:

2011. It was always a weird thing to me how everyone thinks everything in their lives is going to change overnight, just because of a few minutes bridging the years. I used to believe it. I would actually cross my fingers, wishing as hard as I could for everything to get better once that clock struck midnight. I would whisper under my breath what I wanted in the new year and I expected it to come true the next minute. It never did. At the same time, my hope didn't waver. I still had that tiny glimmer of hope. That little ray of sunshine that poured in to give a little bit of light to the darkest rooms. That was then. This was now.

I sat on the little window bench under the light pink curtains in my room, my endless companion. I sat there whenever I was feeling extra lonely, or hopeless. Sometimes, even worthless. This year wasn't as bad as last year with my worthless feelings, but I still sat there nonetheless. I think it all started when I was little. Whenever there was too much yelling, fighting, sadness or even on really rainy nights, I would sit in this little spot and everything would feel okay for a while. I would tell stories to myself and sing little songs, comfort for my crowded mind.

"Let me tell you a story, okay?" I whispered to my fat cat that was snoring unintentionally on the windowsill. He purred lightly in approval. I nodded my head, stroking his back carefully, "There once was a girl that ruined everything she touched. In the beginning, this girl was beautiful, popular, attractive and had a handsome boyfriend. Everyone loved this girl and everything she did. She was head cheerleader, president of the Celibacy Club, in Glee Club and her daddy loved her like no one else could. Her family thought she was perfect and envied her. She was graceful and pretty, untouchable in the hallways of McKinley High School. One day, an evil but gorgeous prince swept her off of her feet, giving her several bottles of his poison. She took it willingly, aching to get away from a little pain she had that day. That one single day, that girl didn't feel like she usually did. The evil prince told her many times about how beautiful and amazing she was, over and over again. It made her feel warm and good inside. She felt like that envied head cheerleader again. This girl let the evil prince do things to her that she should have never allowed. The girl became engorged, her stomach becoming large and disgusting. There was a baby inside of her, the child of her and the beautiful but evil prince. The girl was kicked off of the cheerleading squad, her comforting cheerleading uniform taken away. Everything was going downhill for her. The girl's handsome boyfriend, who believed the baby was his, ran away and never wanted anything to do with the girl ever again. Her daddy stopped loving her when he found out, kicking her out of her home. The girl went to go live with the prince for a while, deprived of her delicious bacon." I paused. I really did miss bacon when I had to live with Puck. After that intrusion of a thought, I resumed my story, "The girl switched homes, living with a good friend for a while. The baby was born eventually, taken away from the girl. Little Beth was never seen again after she was given away. Even though this girl was back on the cheerleading squad and back on top of everything, the girl still feels this longing worthlessness, this feeling of never being enough for anyone," A few loose tears trailed down my cheek, absorbing in my cotton t-shirt. It had a picture of a slinky sprawled across the front. I think it was a present from Matt before he transferred. His uncle owned a quirky t-shirt store, so he got a shirt for all of us. I had to admit, I kind of missed his presence. I started to whisper again, "For the New Year, this girl wants to fall head-over-heels in a mutual love. A love to spark the complex fireworks in her heart." I hugged the chunky cat close to me, whispering one final goodnight. I waltzed over to my bed, anticipating the day to come. New Year's eve was going to be a night to remember for Quinn Fabray. I just knew it.

I woke up the next day to the rain pounding on my windows. I sat up warily, wiping my mouth. Rolling out of bed, I jogged to the bathroom, diving right in to my morning. I learned not to waste any time, even with my dad gone out of the house (for good). My mom still liked things to be neat and precise. I still thought she was a bit mentally unstable sometimes, especially when she threatened to kick me out over little, tiny things. I jumped into the shower, the hot water prickling my skin. It was refreshing and calm, another place to think. I had to pull myself together and _fast_, because Puck was having a New Year's party. I had to keep calm and not lose my cool in front of everyone. If I was lucky, things would go well.

Washing all of the bad feelings out of my hair, I dried off and dressed up as quickly as I could. My stomach growled in protest, begging for some of the bacon that I knew was in the refrigerator. Bounding down the stairs, I completed every last little task I knew had to be accomplished that morning. I let the day pass me by until I finally packed up everything and headed over to Puck's house. With a quick goodbye to my mother, I walked out the door.

It was only 7:30, but Puck's house was insane. The inside was dim, accented with the scent of old nachos and wine coolers. My stomach turned, remembering all too well what those things were capable of.

"Q!" I heard a chipper voice call from across the room, belonging to a hyperactive Brittany with her arm waving in the air. Smiling, I walked over to Brittany, pulling her into a tight hug.

"Hey, Britt," I said, looking into Brittany's flickering eyes. Santana was next to her, patting my back in greeting, "Hey, S," I told her, waving awkwardly. I took a second to observe everyone that was there. The most prominent person I saw through the crowd was Rachel Berry. It wasn't very normal of me, but I had always admired Rachel. I know that a lot of people do, but this was a different kind of admiration. It was more than just her talent. It was _her_. Rachel was one of the most beautiful, genuine girls I had ever seen. She wasn't one to hide her talent. She knew what she wanted and she wasn't afraid to go after it. I didn't know what I felt for Rachel, but something was there. It was the kind of feeling that made you want to have a pillow fight with magical pillows, happiness, ice cream, rainbows and unicorns. Basically, everything nice you could possibly think of. It was something I just ignored, but I noticed myself thinking about her often. I thought about how we would be as best friends, possibly more. Whenever I thought about that, I scolded myself. I had always grown up learning that "gay is wrong". I didn't think of myself as _gay_, per say, I just thought of myself as…flexible. My heart kind of surged as I started heading up the stairs to put my coat on the familiar place we always put our loose things.

"Hey, Quinn," A voice called from behind me as I put my coat on Puck's little sister's bed. My heart pounded in my ears, my cheeks burning.

"Hi, Erm, R-Rachel. Happy New Year," I choked out, turning to face the girl. Rachel stifled a giggle.

"What's the matter?" Rachel asked me, smirking. She set her coat next to mine on the bed, staring at me.

"N-Nothing," I replied quickly, turning to leave the room. Rachel grabbed my arm, her cold fingertips sending shivers up my arm.

"What are you so afraid of? You can talk to me, Quinn," She told me, her brown eyes smiling up at me. I sighed, sitting down on the bed I tried to retreat from moments earlier, "Look, I understand that you're probably feeling lonely and I am the last person you want to talk to, but the truth is, I really care about you. You're part of the team. Don't be sad." The moment was bittersweet. I wanted so bad to tell her right then and there what I felt, but I couldn't. I groaned, twisting a loose strand of hair in between my fingers. Rachel set a hand on my knee, "I mean it."

"Do you want to hear a story?" I asked her, getting a slow nod in return. I recalled the night before with my cat, telling Rachel the story, just not as in depth. I kept all of the details of my New Year's wish, watching her body language carefully. Rachel set a finger on her chin thoughtfully. I watched her bite her glossy lip, thinking about my delicate words.

"There's still time tonight, Quinn. Trust me. In time," Rachel said cryptically, flitting out of the room as fast as she could. I growled under my breath. I was such a waste of space, sometimes. Why couldn't I just tell her? I felt like she was my only chance, my last chance.

The rest of the night was slower than slow, the time passing by as lazily as it could. I observed the room as 12:00 came closer. Brittany and Santana locked hands, tighter than I had ever seen. Everything was getting intense as we all watched the clock. Artie grabbed Tina's hand. I even witnessed Sam's fingers itching to get closer to Kurt's. I knew what it was like. I truly did.

"Good luck," Rachel told me. I saw her go upstairs a couple of times, but I didn't really see her much at the party.

At 11:59, I crossed my fingers, slamming my eyes shut.

"Please," I whispered under my breath, waiting for the clock to chime. All at once, it did. My eyes snapped open again, waiting for something I shouldn't have expected. There was nothing there. Everything was the same. Everything still smelled stale and disgusting. The floor was still covered in a coat of glitter. It was just a bit noisier. I didn't even bother looking around before I ran upstairs in defeat. Nothing was there, either. I grabbed my coat and slipped out of the door before anyone noticed me. I think everyone was too drunk to function in the first place. With that, I drove home. I didn't care if I got any criticism the next day. It was too painful to stay. Slamming on the brakes, I reached my house again, heading up to my room. My mom was gone, probably getting trashed. I plopped on to my bed, curling up next to my cat again. I figured my cat wouldn't want to be covered in snot, so I fished through my pocket for a loose tissue. My fingers stumbled upon something that felt a little bit more rigid than a tissue. Pulling it out with shaky hands, I unfolded the tiny piece of paper.

_There's an unconditional love I've felt for you for the longest time, Quinn Fabray. It's the New Year, and I promised myself I wouldn't keep secrets, even to myself. After watching you be hurt so many times by the Neanderthals that go to our school, I just want you to know that I care. I love you._

_~Rachel Berry_

**So, did you like itttt? Feedback is much appreciated, lovely owls! Have a great New Year!**


End file.
